In Chapter 5, Paul elaborated 3 aspects of walking in the new life:
1. Walk in love (v. 2) - this is the application of our hearts. It is our motivation in doing what we do. Just as Christ came to save us out of love, our service and ministry to others are to be led by our love for them.
2. Walk in light (v. 8) - this is the application of our spirit or conscience. It is our moral guide to ensure we do the right things .
3. Walk in wisdom (v15) - this is the application of our mind to do things right (including right time, right place, etc.)
Heart, Spirit (conscience), Mind are applied together to give us the right motive, the right moral compass, and the right methods to live a practical Christian life and to serve others.
Scripture: Ephesians 5:1-2
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Observation:
Just as children will naturally imitate their parents in their behavior and attitude, we are to imitate God who is our heavenly father. The key characteristic of God is love. And so our life walk should first and foremost be motivated and characterised by love. And love is characterised by sacrificial giving to others.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 gives specific characteristics of love to guide our thinking and attitudes: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
Application:
In the world, everyone expects to get something in return for their "sacrifice" - either to be compensated or to be noticed. This would not be a sacrifice motivated real, agape love, which is unconditional. Christ's death expects nothing from us, and His reward is only from God who rose Him from the dead. In the same way, our expectations should only be from God as we serve and love others, and in this way we will not be disappointed.
"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward." (Col 3:22-23)
Scripture: Ephesians 5:3-6
For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God (v5)
Observation:
In the previous passage that talks about "walking in love" (5:2), the behavior consistent with such a walk were prescribed in the preceeding verses, i.e 4:31-32: "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." These attitudes are evidences of walking in love.
Now in today's passage (5:4-6), the behaviour described here are anti-evidence of walking in the light (v8). These include sexual immorality, impurity (uncleanness or perverse practices), covetousness (greed, love of money), and conversations that are either filthy, vulgar, foolish or dirty joking. These practices are usually done secretly with 'sons of disobedience (unbelievers)' and therefore opposite of walking in the light.
Application:
While the attitudes for walking in love requires a change in the heart, the behavior for walking in light requires a transformation of the mind. "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind" (Rom 12:2). Being tempted is not a sin, and there will be times when we do fall to the temptation; but that's the time when we learn from it: repent and ask God's forgiveness, avoid the people and places that tempt us, have fellowship with believers and continue reading and studying the Word.
Scripture: Ephesians 5:7-10.
Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. (v7-9)
Observation:
In this passage Paul exhort the believers to stop their partnership with prior pagan/unethical/immoral practices despite facing persecution and loss of commercial advantages. They are now to walk as children of light, having been saved and adopted into God's Kingdom. A right walk should produce the right fruits (fruits of the Spirit.) Because the Spirit of light is in each believer, he or she is able to discern what pleases God and what is worldly.
Application:
Living in the light means being transparent and pure in our motives and also being sensitive to the Spirit on what is right to do, and to obey Him regardless of personal sacrifices or loss. Are we willing to give up friendships or business relationships that pressurises us to compromise on God's principles? Are we able to stand alone in moral stand when everyone in our school, department, or even family go a different way? And when we go into a country or city with very different religious perspective and values, how do we conduct ourselves as children of light while balancing the sensitivity?
Matthew 5:16 - "In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
Scripture: Ephesians 5:11-14
Have no fellowship with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for everything that is illuminated becomes a light itself. (v11-13)
Observation:
As Children of Light, not only we are asked to walk in light, but to also expose darkness. Darkness cannot exist when light is present. Unlike liquid such as pure water, light cannot be defiled by impurities or darkness. That's why the children of light can minister to the world just as the Lord of Light did without being stained.
The word "exposing" (gk. elegcho) is not the idea of telling the whole world what someone has done, or to gossip behind his/her back. Rather it is to convince and to convict one of sin or wrong attitudes or thinking. The manner of doing so are explained in other parts of the Bible (eg - privately first, bringing in church leaders, etc.).
Application:
Many of us would not prefer to be in a situation where we have to "expose" sin. For me, it feels awkward and I may feel like a hypocrite or spiritually unfit to "judge" others. Sometimes we may have to do it as it becomes very necessary, but in most circumtances, we just need to "exhort one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness." (Heb 3:13).
Exposing darkness also applies to helping pre-believers see the light of Jesus. By being an example to them in our conduct and in love, and sharing boldly our convictions without appearing spiritually superior.
Scripture : Ephesians 5:15
"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise."
Observation:
There are two aspects of the meaning to walk wisely. One is wisely in our Conduct, which we will focus on today. The other one is being wise in making Choices in order to maximise resources such as time. We look at that tomorrow.
In either cases, the divine Scriptures are sources of wisdom: "Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies, for it is ever with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the aged, for I keep your precepts." (psalms 119:98-100)
Though the laws were given to Israel that could have made them the wisest nation in the world, they wasted it by not obeying it. (Jer. 8:8-9) Solomon was the evidence of the potential of such wisdom.
Good conduct is the output of Godly wisdom.
"Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere." (James 3:13,17)
Application:
"Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." (colossians 4:4-5)
Scripture : Ephesians 5:15-16
"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." (v16)
Observation:
Today we look at another aspect of walking wisely. If we are wise, not only would our Conduct shows it, but so would be our Choices on how we maximise God-given resources in our lives.
The word "use" in Greek is exagorazō, which means to buy up or to redeem. The word "time" here is not the normal "chronos" which denotes time in general. Rather it is "kairos" (as in colossians 4:5) which means an "opportunity" or "occasion" with the idea of fixed, limited time.
This means we are to "rescue" every chance to serve or to save that comes our way and redeem it for God.
The "days are evil" reminds us there will be many worldly distractions both for us and for prebelievers. So whatever coming opportunities have become even more precious. Like appreciating gold, we are to invest into it and redeem it for God.
Application:
(Read psalms 90:9-12). As a mortal soul given a limited life span and even a more limited time in the light, so much time has been lost or wasted in the past on selfish reasons. Time past cannot be brought back. But we can and must invest (means certain risks and sacrifice) into every opportunity God gives us in the future, using resources and talents He had given us.
Scripture: Ephesians 5:17
"Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is."
"Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is." (Amplified Bible - Lockman)
Observation:
We discussed that to Walk Wisely means to CONDUCT ourselves properly, and to make CHOICES that redeems each given opportunity. In order to do this ("Therefore...") we need to COMPREHEND God's will for us. Understanding and doing God's will puts us in the center of God's opportunities for us. It puts each unique individual in the right battle field playing the right roles.
A person who does not understand God's will (i.e. not even being at the right battle field) for his/her life is said to be "foolish" (Greek: Aphron - not a stupid person, but someone who lacks prudence, not employing common sense or acting without thought for the future). In Luke 12:20, Jesus told a parable about a man consumed with hoarding riches for himself. "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?'
Jesus said that we are not of the world, but that He left us in the world for one reason - "that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me." (John 17:21). No wonder it is foolish for a believer to be left in the world and not be orientated towards this universal will of Christ. He might as well be taken out of this world!
On the flip side of the coin, a person who rushes blindly into "serving God" without having understood God's will for him/herself is also foolish and often ends up missing-out on greater blessings, or being burnt-out or disillusioned.
The word "understand" is Greek, Suniemi, is to understand concepts and see relationships between them. It has the idea of putting a puzzle together based on the pieces that God has given to us. It means to grasp what God wants us to do, generally in the stage or our lives as well as specifically on day to day basis. One of the biggest clue include our Spiritual Gifts and the circumstances and the place that He puts us in. There are no accidents with God. Doing the will of God may either be through suffering needs or through the supplying of needs.
Application:
What is God's specific will for me? There is no single answer that fits everyone. It is for you to consider your own heart, circumstances, resources, talents and spiritual gifts to put the pieces together. But every child of God has this ability because of the Holy Spirit - the Counselor given to them. Things we can do to aid us in determining God's will may include:
1. Have a good understanding of the universal (common) will of God for each believer - example:
(a) To glorify him in all we do
(b) To know him more deeply.
(c) To be more Christ-like in our character
(d) To proclaim the Gospel in deed and words
(e) etc.
2. Have a good understanding of your Spiritual Gifts (see Rom 12:2-8)
(a) Seize all opportunities God gives you to exercise your gift, instead of waiting for perfect condition
(b) Be aware that each spiritual gift can be inadvertently wrongly used and create conflict with others or disillusionment with self
Scripture: Ephesians 5:18-21
"And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit" (v18)
Observation:
In order to understand the will of the Lord as commanded in previous verse, one must be in sync with the Spirit by being “filled” with it. While both wine and the Spirit can control our minds, wine brings recklessness and disorder, while the Spirit brings sensibility and peace. We already have God’s Spirit in us and it’s not about asking God to give us more Spirit, but to allow the Spirit to have more of us. Not allowing the Spirit to fill us is to quench the Spirit (1 Thes 5:19).
Being “filled” (gk. Pleroo) means to level up a hollow – as in a hollow heart or mind. Other than wine, some people will fill up hollowness in life with other things, be it fortune, fame, romance, achievements, materialism, entertainment and even religion. But only the Spirit of God can bring songs in the heart and thanksgiving regardless of circumstances. And as to relationships with other believers in the church, we are to “submit to another” because the Spirit operates not only in individuals but also corporately within the Body of Christ.
Application:
We go through times of “hollowness” in life due to personal failures, disappointments, identity crisis, insecurity or simply boredom – this is when the devil takes opportunity to try and fill our hollowness with worldly solutions and soon these become addictive and excessive habits. It’s times like these we must consciously let the Spirit fill up the hollowness and focus on the blessings so that we can “give thanks for everything” and not let despair rule our lives. Interestingly, the passage says we are to sing to one another, not just merely singing inside – this refers to the idea of public testimony (sharing of thanksgiving) as well as to minister to others even in negative circumstances.
Scripture: Ephesians 5:22-24
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." (v22,24)
Observation:
Firstly, the word “submit” here must be taken in the context of 5:21, where it says to “submit to one another”. In other words, there is mutual respect and husbands are not to be dictators. The emphasis, however, is for wives to submit to the husband and for the husband to love the wife, perhaps because these are precisely the difficult things for them to do, respectively.
The wife submits to the husband not because the husband deserves it, but simply because God has set an authority structure that is appropriate for it to be so, and blessings to the relationship and to the whole family comes when God’s design is obeyed. In this case, the structure is compared to Christ being the head of the church. To emulate this structure, the wife submits “in everything” to their husband. Exception is given when the instruction is to commit a sin, in which case prayer, wisdom and proper attitude should be used to decline the request.
Submission of the church (i.e. all of us) to Christ is not easy because of our own sinful and selfish tendencies, despite Christ’s perfect love for us. Thus, it is understandable that it not easy for a woman to totally submit to her imperfect husband, including those who may be unloving and abusive.
In our modern society, women want equality and do whatever men can do. They don't realize that they were created to do things that men cannot do.
A woman’s submission is not just meant to be a window’s dressing to express the church-Christ relationship, but has practical value as well. 1st Peter 3:1 says “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
Application:
How does “submission” or respect (v33) looks like on a practical basis? There’s obviously not enough space to expound on this, but a good starting list of the desired attitudes/behavior of wives are given in Titus 2:1-15:
1. Reverent to all in behaviour (to all authorities)
2. Not Slanderous (gossiping or back stabbing)
3. Sober minded (eg, not getting drunk – i.e. not to lose rational thought)
4. Love for husband and children (does good and not harm to husband/family – see prov 31:12)
5. Self-controlled (over anger, other emotions – see proverbs 21:9)
6. Pure (upright, honesty, etc)
7. Diligence at home (also entrepreneurial – see proverbs 31)
8. Kind (compassion to family members and those in need – see proverbs 31:2)
9. Submissive to husband
10. Quiet and Gentle Spirit (1 Pet 3:4)
These do not come naturally, which is why mature women are asked to "train" younger women in these disciplines. (Titus 2:4)
Scripture: Ephesians 5:22-24
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." (v22,24)
Observation:
Firstly, the word “submit” here must be taken in the context of 5:21, where it says to “submit to one another”. In other words, there is mutual respect and husbands are not to be dictators. The emphasis, however, is for wives to submit to the husband and for the husband to love the wife, perhaps because these are precisely the difficult things for them to do, respectively.
The wife submits to the husband not because the husband deserves it, but simply because God has set an authority structure that is appropriate for it to be so, and blessings to the relationship and to the whole family comes when God’s design is obeyed. In this case, the structure is compared to Christ being the head of the church. To emulate this structure, the wife submits “in everything” to their husband. Exception is given when the instruction is to commit a sin, in which case prayer, wisdom and proper attitude should be used to decline the request.
Submission of the church (i.e. all of us) to Christ is not easy because of our own sinful and selfish tendencies, despite Christ’s perfect love for us. Thus, it is understandable that it not easy for a woman to totally submit to her imperfect husband, including those who may be unloving and abusive.
In our modern society, women want equality and do whatever men can do. They don't realize that they were created to do things that men cannot do.
A woman’s submission is not just meant to be a window’s dressing to express the church-Christ relationship, but has practical value as well. 1st Peter 3:1 says “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
Application:
How does “submission” or respect (v33) looks like on a practical basis? There’s obviously not enough space to expound on this, but a good starting list of the desired attitudes/behavior of wives are given in Titus 2:1-15:
1. Reverent to all in behaviour (to all authorities)
2. Not Slanderous (gossiping or back stabbing)
3. Sober minded (eg, not getting drunk – i.e. not to lose rational thought)
4. Love for husband and children (does good and not harm to husband/family – see prov 31:12)
5. Self-controlled (over anger, other emotions – see proverbs 21:9)
6. Pure (upright, honesty, etc)
7. Diligence at home (also entrepreneurial – see proverbs 31)
8. Kind (compassion to family members and those in need – see proverbs 31:2)
9. Submissive to husband
10. Quiet and Gentle Spirit (1 Pet 3:4)
These do not come naturally, which is why mature women are asked to "train" younger women in these disciplines. (Titus 2:4)
Scripture: Ephesians 5:25-33
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it...and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (v25,28,29,33)
Observation
When a man loves a woman (and vice versa), the type of love one typically thinks of is the romantic kind, which is "eros" in Greek. However the word "love" here is "agape" (selfless or unconditional.)
In Greek, there are at least 6 words they differentiates the different kinds of love. A healthy marriage need both the man and woman to "add on" love from "philia" (friendship) to "eros" (romantic) to "agape" and to "pragma" (used to describe commitment in marriage with understanding, compromise, and tolerance.)
The relevant analogy to Christ goes as far as "love and gave himself up" for the church. A husband has no ability nor authority to "sanctify", "clean", or "present her without blemish and holy." (v26-27). This is what Christ has already done for all who believe. However, as the head, the husband also assumes spiritual leadership in the family and should provide the spiritual nourishment. Not all men are naturally gifted in spiritual leadership and its important that the wife is encouraging by respecting and endorsing his leadership in the family.
Paul emphasises the profound spiritual reality of marriage - as far as God is concerned, the two persons are the same one. When one loves the other, he loves himself. Similarly, when one hates the other, one hates himself. The commandment is to work towards oneness and unity, and not allow division to enter at any cost. Only willful commitment through mutual submission and love can achieve this.
Application
"Love" is a very broad and deep word that can mean different practical things to different people. Wives often complain "I don't think you really love me" and her husband just stares blankly back. Essentially, it is because men and women have different ideas how "love" looks like or feels like. It is a problem not easily solved. However, we can extrapolate from Ephesian's analogy of Christ's love to the church as a starting point to help both men and women agree on a few measurements.
1. To "Give himself up for the Church" (Sacrificial love)
2. To "Love her as you love yourself"
3. To "nourish"
4. To "cherish"
5. To "hold fast"
6. To be committed (as a covenant)
Other characteristics may include:
7. To provide financially and safety for family (1 Tim 5:8)
8. To provide direction and spiritual leadership (by virtue of being head of the wife)
9. To live in understanding with her (1 pet 3:7)
10. To honour her as a weaker vessel(1 pet 3:7)
Note that the list above is "ideal" as no one can love as much as Christ love the church. It is a goal a husband should pursue, and the wife will need to guide and encourage, as both will still have differences in opinions on how such words as "sacrificial love", "loving her as yourself", "nourish", "cherish" are acted out on a day to day basis.
Lastly, the "practical" list given in both "submission" and "love" should not be the focus or used as a "performance indicator" by the husband and wives to judge each other. Rather, their goal is simply to preserve Oneness for the sake of the family and of the Gospel (despite personal differences), and to look to God (and not to each other) for spiritual and life's fulfillment. It will take a life time (and more) to truly learn and know each other, and in the meantime there need to be much "pragma" - understanding, tolerance, and forgiveness for a marriage to last and to grow.
Prayer for Ephesians 5:
Lord, thank you for loving me and dying for me. May I walk more and more like you, with agape love for others and so make your name fragrant and attractive to all.
Thank you for saving us from darkness and blindness, and giving us an example of who we ought to be - attributes love and holiness as your Son is. You have given us the Holy Spirit to shine in our hearts and to convict our minds so that we can recognise, resist and repent from what is unloving and unholy. Give us Grace as we let you work in us until we attain perfection in heaven.
Lord, help us as we live in a world filled with darkness and unbelief. That we first exhort and encourage one another to face the uncertainties and difficulties with your Grace and having the faith that you are under control. Let any darkness in our own hearts be overcome so we can serve you effectively. Give me conviction to know what time-wasting activities I should stop doing, and the wisdom to "count my days" and to know where I should put my priority. Help us to walk as children of light so that we reflect your love and holiness to those we meet. Guard and free our heart, mind and spirit so that our dark pasts no longer have a hold on us.
Give us wisdom to persuade all about your love and salvation for those around us. Let your light illuminate and open their hearts to you. For you have said, "the harvest is ready but the workers are few" - use us Lord and help us to bring as many souls to you. This can only happen, not by our own power or might or skills, but by your Spirit, O LORD. Open doors to us for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ that I may make it clear ( Col 4:2-3).
Lord, thank you for giving us the work of your great commission, which is your universal will for each believer. In doing so, we have learned so much about ourselves. We have seen the gifts in each other and in doing so have a better understanding how different members of the body of Christ unite together using different talents and resources that you have given us to do you will. Help me understand my Spiritual Gifts and your will for me, what you would want me to do in this stage of my life, and also on a daily basis. Let me be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit, my Counselor, each day.
Let us come to you whenever we feel hollow and disappointed, for you will turn our ashes into beauty and mourning into joy when you show us your wonderful purpose for all circumstances. Let the Spirit fill us so that it’s fruit can manifest in our lives – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness.
Amen
