Introduction to Ephesians: Our Identity Is In Christ

Introduction to Ephesians: Our Identity Is In Christ

Collin Leong. September 21, 2025

A. Historical Summary

1. Author and His Background

• Author: The Apostle Paul is widely accepted as the author of Ephesians (Ephesians 1:1; 3:1).

• Background: Paul was a former Pharisee and persecutor of Christians who became a leading missionary after encountering Christ on the road to Damascus (Acts 9). He was deeply educated in Jewish law and Roman culture, which equipped him to bridge the gospel across ethnic and religious divides. Paul spent about three years ministering in Ephesus during his third missionary journey (Acts 19:1–20:1).

2. Audience and Their Background

• Recipients: The letter is addressed to the church in Ephesus (Ephesians 1:1), though some early manuscripts suggest it may have been a circular letter intended for multiple churches in Asia Minor.

• Background: Ephesus was a major Roman city in Asia Minor (modern-day Turkey), known for its commerce, culture, and especially the Temple of Artemis, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. The church was composed of both Jewish and Gentile believers, and Paul’s letter addresses unity and spiritual maturity in this diverse community.

3. Date and Location of Writing

• Date: Around AD 60–62, during Paul’s first imprisonment in Rome (Acts 28:16–31).

• Location: Written from Rome, likely alongside Colossians and Philemon, and delivered by Tychicus (Ephesians 6:21–22).

4. Purpose and Theme

• Purpose: 

• To reveal the mystery of the Church—a unified body of Jews and Gentiles in Christ (Eph 3:6).

• To affirm believers’ identity in Christ—chosen, redeemed, and sealed by the Holy Spirit (Eph 1:3–14).

• To emphasize salvation by grace through faith, not by human effort (Eph 2:8–9).

• To encourage unity and maturity within the Church, urging believers to live worthy of their calling (Eph 4:1–16).

• To equip believers for spiritual warfare, highlighting the armor of God (Eph 6:10–18).

• Themes:

  • Spiritual Identity: Believers are chosen, redeemed, and sealed in Christ.

  • Unity in the Church: Jews and Gentiles are one body through Christ.

  • Christian Conduct: Believers are called to live in love, purity, and submission.

  • Spiritual Warfare: Christians must stand firm against evil using the armor of God.

B. Key Messages

1. Spiritual Identity in Christ

Message: Believers are chosen, redeemed, and sealed by the Holy Spirit. Paul emphasizes that our identity is rooted in God's eternal plan, not in human achievement (Ephesians 1:3–14). 

Application:

• Anchor your self-worth in what God says about you, not in external validation.
• Live with confidence and gratitude, knowing you are fully accepted in Christ.
• Reject lies of inadequacy or comparison—your identity is secure and unchanging.

2. Salvation by Grace through Faith

Message: Salvation is a gift from God, not earned by works. We are saved to do good works, not by them (Ephesians 2:8–10). 

Application:

• Stop trying to earn God's favor—receive His grace freely.
• Serve others out of love, not obligation or guilt.
• Share the gospel clearly: salvation is by grace, not performance.

3. Unity in the Body of Christ

Message: Jews and Gentiles are reconciled into one spiritual family. The church is called to live in unity and peace (Ephesians 2:11–22; 4:1–6). 

Application:

• Promote reconciliation and inclusion in your church and community.
• Avoid division over secondary issues—focus on shared faith in Christ.
• Celebrate diversity as part of God’s design for His people.

4. Spiritual Maturity and Growth

Message: Believers are called to grow in Christlikeness, using their gifts to build up the church (Ephesians 4:11–16). 

Application:

• Invest in spiritual growth through Scripture, prayer, and community.
• Use your gifts to serve others and strengthen the church.
• Pursue maturity—not just knowledge, but character transformation.

5. Holy Living in Daily Life

Message: Christians are called to live differently—marked by love, purity, and wisdom in relationships and conduct (Ephesians 4:17–5:21). 

Application:

• Let your faith shape your choices in speech, sexuality, and integrity.
• Practice forgiveness and kindness in your relationships.
• Make wise decisions that reflect God’s values, not cultural trends.

 6. Christ-Centered Relationships

Message: Marriage, parenting, and work relationships should reflect mutual respect and submission under Christ’s authority (Ephesians 5:22–6:9). 

Application:

• Honor Christ in your family and workplace by serving others well.
• Lead with humility and love, not control or pride.
• Build relationships on trust, respect, and shared purpose.

7. Spiritual Warfare and Readiness

Message: Believers must be equipped to stand against spiritual opposition using the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10–20). 

Application:

• Stay alert to spiritual challenges—don’t ignore the battle.
• Rely on truth, righteousness, faith, and prayer to stay grounded.
• Encourage others to stand firm in their faith, especially in hard times.

C. Framework

The Calling and the Conduct: Identity and Instruction in Christ (Ephesians 1–6)

Paul writes to strengthen the church’s understanding of their spiritual identity and to instruct them on how to live in light of that identity. The letter moves from theological foundations to practical applications, emphasizing unity, maturity, and spiritual warfare.

Ch 1: The Blessing and the Belief Paul opens with praise for God’s spiritual blessings in Christ—election, adoption, redemption, and sealing by the Holy Spirit. He prays that believers would grasp the hope and power available to them.

Ch 2: The Grace and the Growth Paul explains salvation by grace through faith, not works. He describes how Jews and Gentiles are united in Christ, forming one new humanity and growing together into a spiritual temple.

Ch 3: The Mystery and the Mission Paul reveals the mystery of the gospel: Gentiles are fellow heirs. He shares his role in proclaiming this truth and prays for the church to be strengthened in love and filled with the fullness of God.

Ch 4: The Unity and the Maturity Paul urges believers to live in unity, grounded in one faith and one Lord. He outlines the purpose of spiritual gifts—to build up the body of Christ toward maturity and Christlikeness.

Ch 5: The Walk and the Wisdom Paul calls for a lifestyle marked by love, purity, and wisdom. He gives specific instructions for relationships—between spouses, and within households—based on mutual submission and reverence for Christ.

Ch 6: The Battle and the Boldness Paul closes with a call to spiritual readiness. He describes the armor of God and encourages believers to stand firm against spiritual forces. He asks for prayer so he can boldly proclaim the gospel. 

Ephesians 6

Introduction

Paul continues on with the idea of "submission" in the relationship between children and parents, and between servants and master. He then expound on the well known passage about the armor of God. The passage made it clear that each Christian is engaged in spiritual warfare, whether he is aware of it or not. Putting on the "whole armor" is essential to ensure we are protected from the devil's schemes to discredit our testimony and make us ineffective soldiers of Christ. Paul also add on the importance of prayer, which takes us into the realm of the spirit where the true battle is fought. Without a healthy prayer lifestyle, a Christian may have all the weapons but unable to use it effectively in spiritual warfare.

Scripture: Ephesians 6:1-4

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (v1,4)

Observation

The phrase "obey...in the Lord" has been used by some to say that we should obey our parents only if the commandment is according to the will of the Lord. This is an incorrect interpretation and poor excuse. Some translations put it this way: "Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do." (NLT) or "Children, obey your parents as you would the Lord, because this is right." (Holman Christian Standard)

The motivation for children to obey their parents is consistent with the commandment for wives to submit to their husbands or for employees to respect their employers - that is, because of Christ and as if unto Christ. It is not reasonable to ask children to decide for themselves what is the will of God before obeying their parents.

The only time we stop obeying is of the instruction is one that causes us to sin (eg, to lie, to steal, to kill, to worship idols, etc.) and this applies not just to parents but to all human authorities. We must obey until the obedience means direct disobedience to God. Even then, we must maintain respect when we decline such sinful requests. 

Fathers have a balancing act to carry out - to discipline and instruct their children, yet without turning them into angry and bitter people. Fathers need to be firm but not overly harsh, fair but not overly strict, set high but reasonable expectations and yet ensure the children understand that they are loved no matter how they fail.

Application

Obedience to parents is the first training ground for obeying authority, including God, your church leaders, your future employers and your (future) husband. It doesn't matter how insignificant you think the request is (eg, lock the door, keep shoes neatly, etc), because the significance is in the obedience to the Word of God, that says to obey your parents. (Read proverbs for benefits of obeying parents.)

As a father, I have made many mistakes being the first time, but I do my best to adjust and adapt. My motivation is always to ensure my children has a secure future in all aspects. My model is how my heavenly Father treats me, though I can never be as perfect. I hope my children can forgive my shortcomings.

Mothers play an important role to support and enforce the father's rules and wishes, to explain to children the importance of respecting the father, and to privately advise the father if she thinks he is wrong. Otherwise, the father will be perceived as the "bad guy" and discipline will be difficult to maintain.  

Scripture: Ephesians 6:5-9

"Bondservants, obey your earthly masters ... rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man...Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him."  (v5,7,9)

Observation

It's estimated that one third of Ephesus' population were slaves. However, Paul's instructions apply to free men as well (v. 8). Employees are to respect and obey their employers and managers, except when obedience mean sinning against God or violates the country's laws. 

There is no work more or less sacred than any other as long as our work is unto the Lord. Employers must remember that everyone answers to the ultimate master, the Lord God, and to treat their staff fairly and kindly.

Application

Everyone has a "boss", even CEOs and business owners. Shareholders and Customers are their bosses. For kings, rulers and political leaders, the citizens are the bosses. For students, their teachers are their authorities. When everyone respects and submits to each other, there is great productivity, progress and peace for the whole nation.

As individual, we must have the right perspective of our secular work. We are first of all a full time Christian and part time worker somewhere. In reality there should not be a division between our "secular" activities on weekdays and "spiritual" activities on Sundays. Every day and every hour, our activities and work is "unto the Lord" and is considered spiritual. When we are orientated correctly then God's presence is felt and influences us in whatever we do.

Scripture: Ephesians 6:10-12

"Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."  (v11,12)

Observation

There is a spiritual war between the army of Satan and the army of God, which started before the creation of man. (see Isa. 14:12-14).  Christians are always in the middle of the battle, though most are not always aware. Why? Because the war is for the souls of man, and Christians are God's instruments to save as many souls as possible.

Satan's strategy is simple - create disinterest of the gospel through temptations and discredit the gospel through ineffective Christians. If Satan can disrupt healthy spiritual lives of churches, families and individuals through internal conflicts and worldly distractions, he need not worry much about pre-believers as it's only by our examples will pre-believers be attracted to Christ.

Application

Most Christians struggle against life's challenges, difficulties and conflicts without understanding there's a parallel battle happening in the spiritual dimension that is disrupting their ability to respond correctly to God's will. 

If we have a better awareness, we will be able to see through the smoke screens that Satan and his forces throw in our way. We would realise that our parents, our spouses, our relatives or our church members are not the enemy. Saran is. 

We must not react to circumstances in our natural way or to take things into our own hands, but to rely on God's power for strength (v10), and to utilise the spiritual weapons that we will read about shortly.

We must realise that the most important thing - above our own pain and interests - is to stand firm in the unity of the Spirit. For once our unity is disrupted and Christians fight each other, then we are only helping Satan with his strategy and we begin to lose ground in many areas of our lives. 

Scripture: Ephesians 6:13-17

"Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." (v14-17)

Observation:

A few key words to note. Firstly, the instruction is to "stand". Our fight against spiritual power is largely a defense strategy, not offensive. Why? Because Christ has already won the war. Satan knows he has lost the kingdom to the Son, so now he just wants to make sure as many souls don't get into the kingdom. There is only one offensive weapon - the sword of the spirit - this weapon is the only thing that can be used to remove the presence demons and evil. 

The second word is the "whole" armor of God. Enemies are smart enough to know your areas of vulnerability. Our weaknesses exist in our minds, emotions, and will. The causes can range from wrong upbringing, traumatic experiences, incorrect teachings, social influences, strongholds in certain temptations, and so on. The demons can figure this out and keep attacking the same weak points until we give in. We need the "whole armor" for complete protection.

Application:

Have we appropriated the "whole" armor of God? I will highlight these three:

- Righteousness. Of Christ, not of our own. The moment we are too overconfident and too proud to confess our sins daily, we have removed the righteousness of Christ and put on sinful self-righteousness. Confess to each other and confess to God!

- Faith. Satan attacks our hope in Christ. If circumstances and people make you lose hope, your faith in God will be weaken. How do we counter this? Trust and obey His Word. If you can't see it is working, that's because it is working in the spiritual realm, and that is faith.

- Sword of the Spirit - the Word of God. The sword is double edged, it can defend against Satan's attacks (temptations and lies) and evil presence (oppression /possession),  but it is also to be used to remove impure or erroneous thoughts and emotions from our hearts. Keep reading the word and understands the will of God for your life.

Scripture: Ephesians 6:18-24

“praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." (v18-20)

Observation

To be an effective soldier of Christ, putting on the whole armor of God is necessary but not sufficient. Just as important, we must also be on our knees in prayer. It is significant that prayer is not listed as one of the armor components. Rather, prayer is the vehicle that brings us into the spiritual battle field. Remember, the battle is a spiritual one and we cannot fight it or defend ourselves without praying in the spirit. Prayer includes supplication for our brothers and sisters’ protection and boldness to speak the gospel when opportunity is given.

Applications

Without praying, we may be well equipped with the armor, but not engaged in the battle at all. Often times we only pray for what we want. But in all the prayer models in the bible, the prayers are to pray for other people and for God’s kingdom (except for confessions and asking for forgiveness.) God already knows what we need in our personal life, but if prayer is an engagement in spiritual battles, then prayer ought to be foremost about protecting our loves ones from evil influences, giving them strength to do God’s will, to grow in maturity and knowledge of God’s love, and for opportunity and boldness to share the gospel.

Prayers for Ephesians 6

Lord, thank you for your counsel in the book of Ephesians. Help us appropriate it in our lives, especially as children of our parents, and as servants to our employers, that we may show forth Christ in our attitudes, and that our diligence and faithfulness in whatever we do are motivated by our dedication to you and not to man. 

Thank you for giving us the wonderful armor and weapons against the schemes of the devil. We know that although our Lord Christ has won the ultimate victory, the devil is still bent on disrupting our spiritual lives and to discredit our testimonies to the lost. Help us to be strong in your might and to pray at all times. Amen.

Ephesians 4

Introduction

Having explained how the saints were brought into the light and into one body, Paul now focus on behavior that promotes unity in the church. Unity happens when two things exist - when each person exercises his respective gift from the Spirit, and when each person is led by the Spirit to control his attitudes towards others.  The chapter lists partial gifts as well as the key personality values that make a church not only united, but effective for God.  Exercising of gifts together with internal character transformation leads to God's ultimate purpose for each person: spiritual maturity. 

Scripture: Ephesians 4:1-6

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,  with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.   (v1,2)

Observations:

In this passage the key exhortation is to "bear each other in love." The word "bear" (GK. anechō) means to endure or to "suffer" each other. Paul does not ignore the fact that differences of opinions and clashes of personalities will arise, but the common objectives of all Christians is to preserve the unity and peace above protecting personal interests and emotions.  Such self-interest conflicts will harm other innocent bystanders (eg: young Christians) as well as the church's reputation among pre-believers.

Regardless of what differences in opinions or practice, we have the same God and same Spirit - to divide ourselves would be a great disrespect to God himself. God is the ultimate authority over all, and we all must subject ourselves,  our thinking, our preferences and our emotions under His written word.

Applications:

A pastor was approached by a middle aged lady who asked him how big is heaven. The pastor was puzzled with the question but simply said "I think it's quite big, very big."  Curious, he asked her why she wanted to know. She answered, "because there's someone I want to avoid when I get there!"

How much tolerance do we have of differences in people? Do we get agitated easily because the other person has different opinions, methods, mannerism or tones? Do we judge and bear grudges once offended? Do we fight to defend our preference, rather than compromise to defend the unity of the Body?

To bear one another in love, we need to develop humility, gentleness, and patience in our character. (v2)

Scripture: Ephesians 4:7-12

But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift. And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.  (v7, 11-12)

Observation:

Having said that we are all one and equal in the body of Christ, Paul qualified that grace (the ability to perform God's work) is given differently to different people through differing gifts. Five gifts are listed here: apostle, prophets, evangelist, shepherds, and teachers.

Many believe that with the completion of biblical foundation, the gifts of apostles and prophets are no longer required (though we should never tie God's hands to do as He wishes.)  Today's common "prophets" (interpreter of oracles) are those who have insights and foresights into consequences of sin by interpreting and applying scriptural principles to the present situation.

Evangelists, teachers and pastors all work together closely. The evangelist helps people take the step of faith; the teacher takes over and helps them understand the Word deeper; the shepherd (pastor) tends to life difficulties faced by the believer. The prophet has the unpleasant task of handing down warnings of sins to both pre-believers and believers, exhorting and rebuking them as necessary.

These and other gifts (eg. Romans 12:6-8) work together to create a holistic ministry and to build up the church.

Applications:

This passage helps us understand that each believer has a role to play in the body of Christ. Everyone has at least a gift, but no one has every gift. We should not despise another brother or sister because they are weak in certain areas, because we are meant to complement each other. Try and identify the gifts of your church mates and encourage them to use it to edify the members of the church. 

Scripture: Ephesians 4:13-16

"until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,..speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ..." (v13,15)

Observation: 

The ministry of  the various gifts are to (a) to provide unity of the one faith through one doctrinal truth, (b) to learn deeper about Christ, (c) to grow in maturity (GK. teleios - to become a "complete" man) ,  and (d) to be more Christ like.

As we grow in this manner,  we avoid being deceived by unfounded doctrines brought by false teachers.

Truth must not be compromised but is sometimes painful for those who have been misled or have been living in error to hear. Speaking truth in the gentleness of love is effective in restoring those astray.

Applications:

Despite applying our gifts, it is not easy to correct those who have gone wayward in doctrine or in behavior. Pride prevents people from admitting wrong, and everyone is naturally defensive if we are blunt in delivering the truth. Love must also be communicated to help the person feel accepted rather than judged, and thereby making it easier for them to change. Can you identify someone that you need to speak the truth to, but with love this time?

Scripture: Ephesians 4:20-24

"...put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." (v22-24)

Observation: 

Is there a hint of sarcasm by Paul in v21: "assuming you have heard about Him (Jesus)" as if to say, if you know Jesus, why are you still walking in the old self? This is a rebuke to many of us!

Paul described spiritual transformation using two opposite actions: to "put off" the old self, and to "put on"  the new self. In between the two, there is a "renewal of the spirit of your minds". 

What is the "spirit of your minds?" I don't think it is a literal spirit that lives inside the brain. Rather its referring to the way we control our minds. The mind is under the control of the heart. Before we can change the way we think, we have to change our hearts, which is the seat of our will and emotions. (“the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick” - Jer. 17:9). The heart can only change if we give control of it to the Spirit.

Once the heart and the mind is freed with obedience to the truth, then actions consistent with the "new self" can be put on, as Paul elaborates in the next section.

Applications:

“Trust and Obey, for there's no other way,  to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey." This is the simplest way to rephrase what Paul said. To submit in humility and to surrender in faith,  is the only way for the heart to be changed. Then our thinking can be changed - we begin to "change our mind" about what we thought was right, what we thought was fair, what we thought was important.

There will always be the struggle between the old and new self, but Paul reminds us that grace has been given, that if we are willing, we can have victory. 

Scripture: Ephesians 4:25-29

"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." (v26-29)

Observation:

When the mind is under control of the Spirit, external evidences should be seen in 3 areas of our lives:

1. Our Emotions

Anger is given as a key example, but this can also include other passions that overtake godly behavior.  Anger happens when we believe our rights or our image are violated. When we react to it wrongly in our actions or in our thoughts, that it sin, especially when we keep nurturing and make it grow over time. Anger is linked to giving the devil an opportunity for a foothold to launch all kinds of spiritual attacks. When the foothold becomes too deep, it becomes a stronghold in our lives that is difficult to eradicate.

2. Our Actions 

The example given here is to stop theft (greed) and to be honest, diligent and generous instead. The spirit controlled mind will have a conscience to stop wrong actions (or wrong inactions). When we ignore these conscience warnings, it will eventually fade and we go back into darkness.

3. Our Speech. 

We are to speak the truth, avoid words that tear down others but edifying words to encourage others.

Applications: 

Research shows that the brain structure is changed by frequent or prolong anger. Mice forced to fight became socially withdrawn and is easily provoked. They develop new neurons in the hippocampus of the brain that affects aggressive behavior. Anger and aggression arise quicker and last longer the next time when similar "triggers"  (eg. circumstances, similar face, environment, etc) is recognised by the brain, even if there is no actual threat.

That's why anger creates footholds for the devil is not squashed immediately. The cause of anger root is pride, judgementalism, and unforgiveness. This eventually leads to bitterness, hate and other toxic emotions. God asks us to recognise it, to forgive immediately (not even to wait till evening!), and to eventually be spiritually mature.

Prayer for Ephesians 4:

Father, help us understand the importance of preserving the unity of the Spirit in our church, in our community and in our homes.  Create is each of us a spirit of humility, gentleness and patience towards each other.  Reveal to us our respective gifts and let us use them to edify the church and to build each other up.  We surrender our hearts and minds to you, so that our character can be changed in our emotions, in our actions and in our words so as to attain spiritual maturity that you desire. Amen.

Ephesians 3

Introduction

In chapter 2, Paul explained in detail how gentiles are included in the salvation plan. Chapter 3 follows the explanation with two outcomes. The first outcome was the calling of Paul to "specialize" in the ministry to the Gentiles (v2-v13). Paul was both an orthodox Jew as well as a persecutor of Christians - he would not be someone we would choose to spread the gospel to gentiles, yet once again God did the unexpected and changed a hardened person inside out. The second outcome (v14-v21) encourages the saints to be grounded and to be confident in God's love, and to know that they have been given the power to live the new faith in victory. Because of what Christ had done, we fight not for victory, but from victory.

Scripture: Ephesians 3:1-6

"This mystery is that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel." (v6)

Observation 

Paul explained that the plan (or the so called "mystery") for the gentiles to be fellow heirs with the Jews - were given to him via revelation. This first occurred on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:1–7) and at other times (Acts 22:17–21). 

The old testament did have references to the promised Messiah and eluded that He will save the gentiles as well but it was only at the time of the apostles that the full meaning and implications were plainly explained. (eg. See Isaiah 49:  `It is too small a thing that You should be My Servant to raise up the tribes of Jacob, and to restore the preserved ones of Israel; I will also give You as a light to the Gentiles, that You should be My salvation to the ends of the earth.'")

Application 

Paul uses a number of flowery descriptions about himself here: "prisoner of Christ" and  "steward of God's grace."  Do we identify with these description as we live for Christ and minister to His people? In what specific aspects or for what specific purposes are you (willing to be) a prisoner of Christ and a steward of his grace?

Scripture: Ephesians 3:7-13

"to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things," (v9)

Observation: 

Paul shared how he was called to be the minister of the gospel to the gentiles. He admitted  it wasn't because he is the best of the apostles or have great qualification in this area. As a Jewish, dealing with gentiles won't come naturally.

Paul said it is by the gift of God's grace - this is not referring to the grace of Salvation, but the grace that that gives him the power and desire to do God's will, and to endure the hardship. Together with such grace comes spiritual gifts that equip Paul for this great and difficult mission.

Application:

Pastor Edmund Chan from CEFC Church  said: "discovering your gift gives you purpose, giving it away gives you meaning."

We cannot rely on human strength to do God's work. God gives grace with power to all believers. Are you aware what is your spiritual gift? And what is your calling to use that gift? Is it to minister to a specific group of people (race, age, gender, social status?) To a specific geography? Or simply within your own family and church? You need to find out,  and when you do, discuss with your house and church authority how best to serve.

Scripture: Ephesians 3:14-17a

"that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith" (v16-17)

Observation:

Paul repeats "for this reason" here in verse 14 to continue his thought he started in verse 1, after side tracking to explain his calling to be the apostle to the gentiles (v2-13). In this prayer, he wishes the saints to be strengthened by power, and to be grounded in love.

The purpose of the power is to strengthen their faith in Christ,  especially in times of persecution and difficult life circumstances. The power flows through the Spirit which is already in each of us, into our inner being. (see acts 1:8)

Application: 

The power (GK. dynamis) enables us to be "dynamic" in our faith, embolden us supernaturally when the time calls for - be it to share the gospel, to stand up for our faith in public, to resist peer pressure to compromise our values, to pray for miraculous intervention, to endure persecution and even to lay down our lives for Christ.

Let us claim this power that is already within us, to accomplish things that we can never imagine we could do. "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."  2 Tim 1:7

Scripture: Ephesians 3:17b-21

"that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."  (v17-19)

Observation: 

How does a human become "God like"? It is by having the perfect understanding of all the dimensions of Christ's love - for God is love, and Christ the manifestation of love in the flesh. 

Christ's love will take a lifetime to truly appreciate. And if one has perfect understanding of it, one would not be able to describe it, for it surpasses (transcend) all rational knowledge. What is more important is that as we understand His love more and more, it should transform our inner and outer perspectives, so that we are filled with more fullness of God.

Application:

What do you think are the "God like" characters? I suppose the obvious one is that our love will be more consistent with the description in 1 Cor 13. We would also have more humility, more understanding and tolerance, more forgiving, have greater compassion,  and so on. 

What are the qualities you wish to be more Christ like? Will praying Paul's prayer above - that God gives you the desire and ability to know Christ's love deeper help to develop those qualities? Pray and see.


Prayer for Ephesians 3

Lord, we thank you for raising up servants like Paul and all the subsequent evangelists, preachers and pastors so that we, the gentiles, can hear of the good news and be saved. We submit ourselves to be prisoners of Christ, and the stewards of your grace, so that through us others may also hear of your unsearchable riches stored for us together. Help each of us to continue to grow in the knowledge of your love and in spiritual maturity and to be more like Christ. Amen.

Ephesians 2

Introduction

In Chapter 2, Paul went back to the basics of how God saved us from slavery to sin and death, and raised us up to a status beyond what anyone could have imagined - not just merely forgiven but becoming part of His family. And this is even more significant as far as Gentiles are concerned, which is the emphasis of Paul in this letter. We were once excluded from the Messianic promises (or so thought the Jewish religious leaders), but now being made one and equal. In Christ, there are neither Jews or Gentiles, nor male or female - we were all in sin, and saved only by grace.

Scripture: Ephesians 2:1-3
"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, ... carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind." (v1, 3)

Observation:
The bible teaches that all mankind were born "dead in sin." In this default state we only have one nature to follow, which is the nature of the flesh. Paul himself admits that in the past, he too was slaved to passion of the flesh, even though he was a devoted Jewish religious leader.

The nature of the flesh had fallen under the rule of Satan. Unlike what we may think, Satan does not necessarily try to make men do the most evil of things, as that would make evil too obvious. Rather, Satan just need to simply encourage men to do what is "natural" and to follow where their passions and desires lead them. As long as it feels good, then no harm doing it. Men, by their own corrupted thinking will accept greater and greater evil in society as being "normal" over time. 

Application:
As Christians we are contrasted as the children of light, and we follow the Holy Spirit, and the Prince of Peace. We are given a new nature that enables us to respond to God and do what God desires.

However, Satan's strategy can be so subtle and deceiving that even Christians can be drawn into it without realizing it. We still have the old nature that we may instinctively follow. But God has given us the written, unchanging Word that must be our anchor. The Word cannot govern every minor aspect of our lives, but whatever is written must first be read, understood and obeyed. Then at the same time the Spirit will help us transform our thinking and attitudes for every moment of our lives.

Understanding and obeying the Word is like shifting the car into the right gear, and the Holy Spirit guidance helps you with the gas paddle (speed) and the steering (direction.) If you are not even in the right gear, there is nothing much the Spirit can do to guide you with your life.


Scripture: Ephesians 2:4-7
"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ" (v4)

Observation: 
In this passage, three attributes of God were mentioned: mercy, love, and kindness. These are part of His divine nature, and from this nature grace is manifested in His desire to save us.

He saved us at 3 levels - he made us alive when Christ died for our sins. He raised us up in the power of Christ's resurrection and by this to regenerate us with a new godly nature. Lastly, he seated us together with Christ so that we share a measure of His power and authority as we studied earlier.

Application:
One tour guide told me as we looked at the tallest pagoda in Vietnam: "all religions are the same, and people believe in heaven to have hope and to motivate themselves to be better." I responded, "well, except for Christianity because we can't get to heaven by being better. We can only get to heaven by being forgiven." He was surprised with this new information. Then I told him, "I can see that you are already a good person. You just need Jesus in order to be forgiven."

This passage reminds us of the kind of God that we worship. Different religions may describe their gods differently, but ours is merciful, kind and loving, leading to forgiveness and grace.


Scripture: Ephesians 2:8-10
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works.."

Observation:
We are not saved by good works, but saved for good works. For even our righteous acts are like filthy rags to God (Isaiah 64:6). Those who believe in good works for salvation has their faith on their own righteousness. Our faith is on the righteous sacrifice of Christ, given to us as a gift by grace (GK. charis - meaning favour or good will).

Application:

What should be our right response when we realize that even our very best cannot earn us a place in heaven?  Perhaps it should remind us to be patient with the failures and imperfection of our brothers and sisters in Christ, for if God has shown them (and to us) grace and forgiveness, who are we to judge them? To do so is to say that our standard is even higher than God's. And to pre-believers, we should spread the great news of hope, no matter how sinful their lives are. And for ourselves, remember that grace was given so we can be good workmen for God - how can you serve God today? 

Scripture: Ephesians 2:11-13

"remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ." (v12,13)

Observation:
Paul listed ten "insults" or condemnation of the state of our unsaved past, at least from the perspective of the Abrahamic covenant. We were Gentiles, in the flesh, the "uncircumcised" , alienated from Israel, etc.. Israel looked down on Gentiles as people with no hope in God's promised kingdom, nor even the access to their promised messiah. We were not the "chosen" people, and "far off" from God.

These condemnations and exclusions were removed by Christ when He established a new, inclusive, covenant by first fulfilling the old covenant with his blood. "Therefore he is the mediator of a new covenant..." (Hebrews 9:15)

Application:
Christ has made us alive from being dead, and brought us near from being far off. The contrast emphasises the personal, loving God who did not just merely "forgive and forget" but seeks intimacy with us. Given such undeserved grace and love, shall we be drawn to Him and in turn practice the same towards others.


Scripture: Ephesians 2:14-18
For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility." (v14-16)

Observation:
Paul elaborates how Christ had removed the division between Israel (those near - GK. eggy) the gentiles (those far off.)

It must be noted that the intention was not to integrate gentiles into Israel, but to bring both into a new covenant - a "new man." Both had no access to God - one were encumbered with laws and ordinances that cannot make them perfect, while the other had no covenant at all.

By fulfilling the requirements of the law for sin sacrifice, Christ brought peace between the two peoples and also peace between all mankind with God. It is up to individuals to accept that peace that have been preached to them.

Application:
In the past, a gentile who believed in the God of Israel and wants to worship Him in the temple can become a proselyte - or converted to Judaism. Rabbis uses the term "to make nigh" (GK. eggy) in reference to proselytising. A proselyte has to be circumcised and follow all ordinances of Moses' law.

However even a born Jew is unable to enter the Holy of Holies. With the new covenant in Christ, we both have access directly to God through the Holy Spirit. We are not just "near" God but is in His presence. Remember that whatever we do and wherever we are, Gods presence is always with us.


Scripture : Ephesians 2:19-22
So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.

Observation:
Notice how Paul made a progression of our status from being initially "dead" to God, but were made alive, saved, reconciled to peace with God,  and made citizens. Not only ordinary citizens but members of the family, and lastly even where God Himself  dwells in the form of the Holy Spirit. This refers to the church which is a living temple built out of believers.

Why did Paul went at length to explain to the Ephesians how God has raised them up from being dead to an unimaginable status as the dwelling place of God? What's  Paul's main point?

Perhaps there was some sense of inferiority among the Gentiles as compared to Jewish Christians, or they had been viewed as such.  There may even be lingering guilt, realising their idolatry and immoral past. So Paul made it clear to them (and to any Jewish Christians who may read this letter) that:

1. Everyone is saved by Grace, not by works or religion.
2. Gentiles, who once were not part of God's elect are now included in the new covenant.
3. Both people are now one, built into a holy temple, and that there should be unity.

Paul continued to write about the "mystery" of Gentile inclusion and the unity of the church in subsequent chapters.

Application:
If we as gentiles have been given such grace, then one thing we must learn is not to discriminate against anyone by their race, by their past or even by their present spiritual practices. If God has accepted them, then we have no right to be biased against them.

Prayer for Ephesians 2

Father, we thank you that you have rescued us from the cradle of death and given us a new life in Christ. You did this not because we deserve it, but because of undeserved grace which is free to us and is priceless to You, for it cost You your holy Son. The blood of Christ has blotted out our sins and defeated eternal death. You raised us up together with our resurrected Lord and seated us together with Him. You have made us into one body and one temple - a dwelling place for the Holy God from what once was the filthiest creatures. We bless You, thank You and worship You for your great love and mercy lavished on us.  Amen.

Ephesians 5

Introduction

In Chapter 5, Paul elaborated 3 aspects of walking in the new life:

1. Walk in love (v. 2) - this is the application of our hearts. It is our motivation in doing what we do. Just as Christ came to save us out of love, our service and ministry to others are to be led by our love for them. 

2. Walk in light (v. 8) - this is the application of our spirit or conscience. It is our moral guide to ensure we do the right things .

3. Walk in wisdom (v15) - this is the application of our mind to do things right (including right time, right place, etc.)

Heart, Spirit (conscience), Mind are applied together to give us the right motive, the right moral compass, and the right methods to live a practical Christian life and to serve others. 

Scripture: Ephesians 5:1-2

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Observation:

Just as children will naturally imitate their parents in their behavior and attitude, we are to imitate God who is our heavenly father. The key characteristic of God is love. And so our life walk  should first and foremost be motivated and characterised by love. And love is characterised by sacrificial giving to others. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 gives specific characteristics of love to guide our thinking and attitudes: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Application:

In the world, everyone expects to get something in return for their "sacrifice"  - either to be compensated or to be noticed.  This would not be a sacrifice motivated real,  agape love,  which is unconditional. Christ's death expects nothing from us,  and His reward is only from God who rose Him from the dead. In the same way, our expectations should only be from God as we serve and love others, and in this way we will not be disappointed. 

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,  knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward." (Col 3:22-23)

Scripture: Ephesians 5:3-6 

For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God (v5) 

Observation: 

In the previous passage that talks about "walking in love" (5:2), the behavior consistent with such a walk were prescribed in the preceeding verses, i.e 4:31-32: "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." These attitudes are evidences of walking in love. 

Now in today's passage (5:4-6), the behaviour described here are anti-evidence of walking in the light (v8). These include  sexual immorality, impurity (uncleanness or perverse practices), covetousness (greed, love of money), and conversations that are either filthy, vulgar, foolish or dirty joking. These practices are usually done secretly with 'sons of disobedience (unbelievers)' and therefore opposite of walking in the light. 

Application:

While the attitudes for walking in love requires a change in the heart, the behavior for walking in light requires a transformation of the mind. "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind" (Rom 12:2). Being tempted is not a sin, and there will be times when we do fall to the temptation; but that's the time when we learn from it: repent and ask God's forgiveness, avoid the people and places that tempt us, have fellowship with believers and continue reading and studying the Word. 

Scripture: Ephesians 5:7-10.

Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. (v7-9)

Observation:

In this passage Paul exhort the believers to stop their partnership with prior pagan/unethical/immoral practices despite facing persecution and loss of commercial advantages. They are now to walk as children of light, having been saved and adopted into God's Kingdom. A right walk should produce the right fruits (fruits of the Spirit.) Because the Spirit of light is in each believer, he or she is able to discern what pleases God and what is worldly.

Application:

Living in the light means being transparent and pure in our motives and also being sensitive to the Spirit on what is right to do, and to obey Him regardless of personal sacrifices or loss. Are we willing to give up friendships or business relationships that pressurises us to compromise on God's principles? Are we able to stand alone in moral stand when everyone in our school, department, or even family go a different way? And when we go into a country or city with very different religious perspective and values, how do we conduct ourselves as children of light while balancing the sensitivity?

Matthew 5:16 - "In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

Scripture: Ephesians 5:11-14

Have no fellowship with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for everything that is illuminated becomes a light itself. (v11-13)

Observation:

As Children of Light, not only we are asked to walk in light, but to also expose darkness. Darkness cannot exist when light is present. Unlike liquid such as pure water, light cannot be defiled by impurities or darkness. That's why the children of light can minister to the world just as the Lord of Light did without being stained.

The word "exposing" (gk. elegcho) is not the idea of telling the whole world what someone has done, or to gossip behind his/her back. Rather it is to convince and to convict one of sin or wrong attitudes or thinking. The manner of doing so are explained in other parts of the Bible (eg - privately first, bringing in church leaders, etc.).

Application:

Many of us would not prefer to be in a situation where we have to "expose" sin. For me, it feels awkward and I may feel like a hypocrite or spiritually unfit to "judge" others. Sometimes we may have to do it as it becomes very necessary, but in most circumtances, we just need to "exhort one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness." (Heb 3:13).

Exposing darkness also applies to helping pre-believers see the light of Jesus. By being an example to them in our conduct and in love, and sharing boldly our convictions without appearing spiritually superior.

Scripture : Ephesians 5:15

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise."

Observation:

There are two aspects of the meaning to walk wisely. One is wisely in our Conduct, which we will focus on today. The other one is being wise in making Choices in order to maximise resources such as time. We look at that tomorrow.

In either cases, the divine Scriptures are sources of wisdom: "Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies, for it is ever with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the aged, for I keep your precepts." (psalms 119:98-100)

Though the laws were given to Israel that could have made them the wisest nation in the world, they wasted it by not obeying it. (Jer. 8:8-9) Solomon was the evidence of the potential of such wisdom.

Good conduct is the output of Godly wisdom.

"Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere."  (James 3:13,17)

Application:

"Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." (colossians 4:4-5)

Scripture : Ephesians 5:15-16

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." (v16)

Observation: 

Today we look at another aspect of walking wisely. If we are wise, not only would our Conduct shows it, but so would be our Choices on how we maximise God-given resources in our lives.

The word "use" in Greek is exagorazō, which means to buy up or to redeem. The word "time" here is not the normal "chronos" which denotes time in general. Rather it is "kairos" (as in colossians 4:5) which means an "opportunity" or "occasion" with the idea of fixed, limited time.

This means we are to "rescue" every chance to serve or to save that comes our way and redeem it for God.

The "days are evil" reminds us there will be many worldly distractions both for us and for prebelievers. So whatever coming opportunities have become even more precious. Like appreciating gold, we are to invest into it and redeem it for God.

Application: 

(Read psalms 90:9-12). As a mortal soul given a limited life span and even a more limited time in the light, so much time has been lost or wasted in the past on selfish reasons. Time past cannot be brought back. But we can and must invest (means certain risks and sacrifice) into every opportunity God gives us in the future, using resources and talents He had given us.

Scripture:  Ephesians 5:17

"Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is."

"Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is." (Amplified Bible - Lockman)

Observation:

We discussed that to Walk Wisely means to CONDUCT ourselves properly, and to make CHOICES that redeems each given opportunity. In order to do this ("Therefore...") we need to COMPREHEND God's will for us. Understanding and doing God's will puts us in the center of God's opportunities for us. It puts each unique individual in the right battle field playing the right roles.

A person who does not understand God's will (i.e. not even being at the right battle field) for his/her life is said to be "foolish" (Greek: Aphron - not a stupid person, but someone who lacks prudence, not employing common sense or acting without thought for the future). In Luke 12:20, Jesus told a parable about a man consumed with hoarding riches for himself. "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?'

Jesus said that we are not of the world, but that He left us in the world for one reason - "that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me." (John 17:21). No wonder it is foolish for a believer to be left in the world and not be orientated towards this universal will of Christ. He might as well be taken out of this world! 

On the flip side of the coin, a person who rushes blindly into "serving God" without having understood God's will for him/herself is also foolish and often ends up missing-out on greater blessings, or being burnt-out or disillusioned.

The word "understand" is Greek, Suniemi, is to understand concepts and see relationships between them. It has the idea of putting a puzzle together based on the pieces that God has given to us. It means to grasp what God wants us to do, generally in the stage or our lives as well as specifically on day to day basis. One of the biggest clue include our Spiritual Gifts and the circumstances and the place that He puts us in. There are no accidents with God. Doing the will of God may either be through suffering needs or through the supplying of needs.

Application:

What is God's specific will for me?  There is no single answer that fits everyone. It is for you to consider your own heart, circumstances, resources, talents and spiritual gifts to put the pieces together. But every child of God has this ability because of the Holy Spirit - the Counselor given to them. Things we can do to aid us in determining God's will may include:

1. Have a good understanding of the universal (common) will of God for each believer - example:

(a) To glorify him in all we do

(b) To know him more deeply.

(c) To be more Christ-like in our character

(d) To proclaim the Gospel in deed and words

(e) etc.

2. Have a good understanding of your Spiritual Gifts (see Rom 12:2-8)

(a) Seize all opportunities God gives you to exercise your gift, instead of waiting for perfect condition

(b) Be aware that each spiritual gift can be inadvertently wrongly used and create conflict with others or disillusionment with self

Scripture: Ephesians 5:18-21

"And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit" (v18)

Observation:

In order to understand the will of the Lord as commanded in previous verse, one must be in sync with the Spirit by being “filled” with it. While both wine and the Spirit can control our minds, wine brings recklessness and disorder, while the Spirit brings sensibility and peace. We already have God’s Spirit in us and it’s not about asking God to give us more Spirit, but to allow the Spirit to have more of us. Not allowing the Spirit to fill us is to quench the Spirit (1 Thes 5:19).

Being “filled” (gk. Pleroo) means to level up a hollow – as in a hollow heart or mind. Other than wine, some people will fill up hollowness in life with other things, be it fortune, fame, romance, achievements, materialism, entertainment and even religion. But only the Spirit of God can bring songs in the heart and thanksgiving regardless of circumstances.  And as to relationships with other believers in the church, we are to “submit to another” because the Spirit operates not only in individuals but also corporately within the Body of Christ.

Application:

We go through times of “hollowness” in life due to personal failures, disappointments, identity crisis, insecurity or simply boredom – this is when the devil takes opportunity to try and fill our hollowness with worldly solutions and soon these become addictive and excessive habits. It’s times like these we must consciously let the Spirit fill up the hollowness and focus on the blessings so that we can “give thanks for everything” and not let despair rule our lives. Interestingly, the passage says we are to sing to one another, not just merely singing inside – this refers to the idea of public testimony (sharing of thanksgiving) as well as to minister to others even in negative circumstances.


Scripture: Ephesians 5:22-24

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." (v22,24)

Observation:
Firstly, the word “submit” here must be taken in the context of 5:21, where it says to “submit to one another”. In other words, there is mutual respect and husbands are not to be dictators. The emphasis, however, is for wives to submit to the husband and for the husband to love the wife, perhaps because these are precisely the  difficult things for them to do,  respectively.

The wife submits to the husband not because the husband deserves it, but simply because God has set an authority structure that is appropriate for it to be so, and blessings to the relationship and to the whole family comes when God’s design is obeyed. In this case, the structure is compared to Christ being the head of the church. To emulate this structure, the wife submits “in everything” to their husband. Exception is given when the instruction is to commit a sin, in which case prayer, wisdom and proper attitude should be used to decline the request.

Submission of the church (i.e. all of us) to Christ is not easy because of our own sinful and selfish tendencies, despite Christ’s perfect love for us. Thus, it is understandable that it not easy for a woman to totally submit to her imperfect husband, including those who may be unloving and abusive.

In our modern society, women want equality and do whatever men can do. They don't realize that they were created to do things that men cannot do.

A woman’s submission is not just meant to be a window’s dressing to express the church-Christ relationship, but has practical value as well. 1st Peter 3:1 says “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”

Application:
How does “submission” or respect (v33) looks like on a practical basis?  There’s obviously not enough space to expound on this, but a good starting list of the desired attitudes/behavior of wives are given in Titus 2:1-15:

1.       Reverent to all in behaviour (to all authorities)
2.       Not Slanderous (gossiping or back stabbing)
3.       Sober minded (eg, not getting drunk – i.e. not to lose rational thought)
4.       Love for husband and children (does good and not harm to husband/family – see prov 31:12)
5.       Self-controlled (over anger, other emotions  – see proverbs 21:9)
6.       Pure (upright, honesty, etc)
7.       Diligence at home (also entrepreneurial – see proverbs 31)
8.       Kind (compassion to family members and those in need – see proverbs 31:2)
9.       Submissive to husband
10.   Quiet and Gentle Spirit (1 Pet 3:4)

These do not come naturally, which is why mature women are asked to "train"  younger women in these disciplines. (Titus 2:4)

Scripture: Ephesians 5:25-33

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it...and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (v25,28,29,33)

Observation 
When a man loves a woman (and vice versa), the type of love one typically thinks of is the romantic kind, which is "eros" in Greek. However the word "love"  here is "agape" (selfless or unconditional.)

In Greek, there are at least 6 words they differentiates the different kinds of love. A healthy marriage need both the man and woman to "add on" love from "philia" (friendship) to "eros" (romantic) to "agape" and to "pragma" (used to describe commitment in marriage with understanding, compromise, and tolerance.)

The relevant analogy to Christ goes as far as "love and gave himself up" for the church. A husband has no ability nor authority to "sanctify", "clean", or "present her without blemish and holy." (v26-27). This is what Christ has already done for all who believe. However, as the head, the husband also assumes spiritual leadership in the family and should provide the spiritual nourishment. Not all men are naturally gifted in spiritual leadership and its important that the wife is encouraging by respecting and endorsing his leadership in the family.

Paul emphasises the profound spiritual reality of marriage - as far as God is concerned, the two persons are the same one. When one loves the other, he loves himself. Similarly, when one hates the other, one hates himself. The commandment is to work towards oneness and unity, and not allow division to enter at any cost. Only willful commitment through mutual submission and love can achieve this.

Application
"Love" is a very broad and deep word that can mean different practical things to different people. Wives often complain "I don't think you really love me" and her husband just stares blankly back. Essentially, it is because men and women have different ideas how "love" looks like or feels like. It is a problem not easily solved. However, we can extrapolate from Ephesian's analogy of Christ's love to the church as a starting point to help both men and women agree on a few measurements.

1. To "Give himself up for the Church" (Sacrificial love)
2. To "Love her as you love yourself"
3. To "nourish"
4. To "cherish"
5. To "hold fast"
6. To be committed (as a covenant)

Other characteristics  may include:
7. To provide financially and safety for family (1 Tim 5:8)
8. To provide direction and spiritual leadership (by virtue of being head of the wife)
9. To live in understanding with her (1 pet 3:7)
10. To honour her as a weaker vessel(1 pet 3:7)

Note that the list above is "ideal" as no one can love as much as Christ love the church. It is a goal a husband should pursue, and the wife will need to guide and encourage, as both will still have differences in opinions on how such words as "sacrificial love", "loving her as yourself", "nourish", "cherish" are acted out on a day to day basis. 

Lastly, the "practical" list given in both "submission" and "love" should not be the focus or used as a "performance indicator" by the husband and wives to judge each other. Rather, their goal is simply to preserve Oneness for the sake of the family and of the Gospel (despite personal differences), and to look to God (and not to each other) for spiritual and life's fulfillment. It will take a life time (and more) to truly learn and know each other, and in the meantime there need to be much "pragma" - understanding, tolerance, and forgiveness for a marriage to last and to grow.

Prayer for Ephesians 5:

Lord,  thank you for loving me and dying for me. May I walk more and more like you, with agape love for others and so make your name fragrant and attractive to all.

Thank you for saving us from darkness and blindness, and giving us an example of who we ought to be - attributes love and holiness as your Son is. You have given us the Holy Spirit to shine in our hearts and to convict our minds so that we can recognise, resist and repent from what is unloving and unholy. Give us Grace as we let you work in us until we attain perfection in heaven.

Lord, help us as we live in a world filled with darkness and unbelief. That we first exhort and encourage one another to face the uncertainties and difficulties with your Grace and having the faith that you are under control. Let any darkness in our own hearts be overcome so we can serve you effectively. Give me conviction to know what time-wasting activities I should stop doing, and the wisdom to "count my days" and to know where I should put my priority. Help us to walk as children of light so that we reflect your love and holiness to those we meet. Guard and free our heart, mind and spirit so that our dark pasts no longer have a hold on us.

Give us wisdom to persuade all about your love and salvation for those around us. Let your light illuminate and open their hearts to you.  For you have said, "the harvest is ready but the workers are few" - use us Lord and help us to bring as many souls to you. This can only happen, not by our own power or might or skills, but by your Spirit, O LORD. Open doors to us for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ that I may make it clear ( Col 4:2-3).  

Lord, thank you for giving us the work of your great commission, which is your universal will for each believer. In doing so, we have learned so much about ourselves. We have seen the gifts in each other and in doing so have a better understanding how different members of the body of Christ unite together using different talents and resources that you have given us to do you will. Help me understand my Spiritual Gifts and your will for me, what you would want me to do in this stage of my life, and also on a daily basis. Let me be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit, my Counselor, each day.

Let us come to you whenever we feel hollow and disappointed, for you will turn our ashes into beauty and mourning into joy when you show us your wonderful purpose for all circumstances. Let the Spirit fill us so that it’s fruit can manifest in our lives – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness.

Amen